From one mother to another…

Motherhood changes your life forever. It’s the most wonderful gift, but it can be stressy, messy and – let’s be honest – downright difficult!  

Advice and support from other mothers who’ve had similar struggles is often what gets us through the worst times, especially if our fellow mums are brutally honest, showing us that it’s okay to admit to finding being a mum difficult.  

To celebrate Mother’s Day, we asked three Mums to share some of the challenges they’ve endured and how they’ve overcome them. 

Motherhood means monotony

It wasn’t a detail mentioned by my older, wiser mum friends before I had kids. They just told me being a mum is hard work. Hmmmm, ok, I thought. Yes, I’m sure that ‘no-sleep’ part is horrendous.  

However, the no sleep is such a tiny sliver of what makes this job a hard one. It’s actually the monotonous nature of everyday routines that is shaping up to be my largest obstacle to feeling happy. 

There are many people who would say – but you get to stay home and play around with your kids. You get to watch them grow – what could be more special? 

Yes, I agree with that point - but motherhood isn’t an endless series of Hallmark moments when the children are giggling and you’re sitting in the sun sipping a cold iced tea while they play peacefully in the garden in their cute outfits.  

Motherhood is 85% bottle washing, nappy changing, puree feedings, puke cleaning, laundry, laundry and more laundry. These are little humans who need you to do almost everything for them, so, as a mum, you spend most of your day just making sure they get through theirs in one piece. It genuinely can drive a person to insanity after months/years of it. Especially once you have more than one child, and everything is multiplied.  

Ironically no day is ever the same. Each day brings a new challenge. But still, it’s the mind-numbing little daily tasks that make me feel like I’m selling my soul to Peppa Pig.  

I recently read a brilliant article by a woman who essentially said that sacrificing yourself – sacrificing your interests, your passion, those things that excite you in life – not as a mum but as an individual - needs to be a thing of the past.  

We women need to make ourselves a priority even when we feel we shouldn’t be. Your kid will be fine watching a cartoon while you do a 20 minute work-out in the dining room – so stop killing yourself with guilt about it. Or instead of doing the laundry and dishes while your kids are napping, take that time to meditate, sleep or read a book. If funds allow it, get a babysitter or a family member to come once a week for a couple hours – not so you can go grocery shopping but so you can do something that stimulates your brain.  

My brain needs me to start standing up to the monotony of motherhood. I owe myself that much. I owe my 20-something self that much. I owe my kids that much – as their role model.  

I WILL start putting me first on occasion. My personality, my interests, my dreams WILL be back on the daily menu – I promise…right after the bottles are cleaned.  

Jeanie, founder of The Gilded Bird and mum of three  

Learn to embrace

My biggest challenge to date is having an early riser for my first child (4am-5am) ouch! It has been super tricky to juggle this with full time work, and initially I was so tired all the time. 

However, after realising this was just my son and there was no magic fix, I learned to embrace it. Every morning, we spend 30 minutes having “huggles and snuggles” in bed until our sleep aid, the Glow Sleep Easy turns green. 

Now it’s my favourite part of my day! It’s been 5 long years and not a day missed. We make up silly songs and play made up games. It’s like nothing else exists at that time of the morning.  

This unique time that I originally rallied against, now really starts my day off on a positive spin. I work full time and parent 100% solo, so it really is our special time.  

My youngest daughter luckily sleeps until 6.30am, which is very nice for her. 

Celine, training specialist, at Glow Dreaming, Mum of two  

Let go of mummy guilt! 

I loved being a new mum, but there was only one thorny issue literally keeping me up at night – my baby would NOT sleep. In the first few weeks, it’s expected. Right? Although nothing really prepared me for how it would feel going from a steady 8 hours a night to 2 hours, my brand new mum friends were experiencing the same thing. We were all in it together. But as the weeks turned to months, my friends’ babies began to sleep through the night. Mine, on the other hand, did not.   

Maternity leave over and back at work, I was truly sleep deprived. I’d often lose the thread of what we were discussing in meetings. Never a coffee a drinker, I developed an addiction to strong coffee (which still remains)! I’d type into Google. How many hours sleep does a baby need? Or, in more desperate moments, Can an adult die from lack of sleep?!  

The trouble was, she just wanted to be with us at night, but all the books I read highlighted the pitfalls of such an arrangement, so I persevered, trying all manner of tactics – but nothing worked. At around two and a half I gave up and let her sleep with us. At some point in the night, she’d get out of her toddler bed, come in with us and sleep peacefully until the morning. We all did!  

This continued until she started school. I felt awful guilt about being a bad mother by still allowing her to co-sleep – even though it was actually working well for all of us. Then I met another Mum, from a different culture, who explained that in her country, it was very normal for young ones to sleep in the same room as their parents up until they were 7 or 8 years old. I was amazed. All the guilt I felt melted away and I stopped worrying.  

The truth is, after that, I can’t remember when Lulu stopping creeping into our bed. The only thing I know is that now, at 13, she’d be horrified if she had to sleep in the same bed as her mum! She’s a happy girl and we’re really close – I’m lucky. See – I tell my younger self - the lack of sleep didn’t harm her.  

As a teenager she needs lots of sleep, her brain is rewiring. My friends have teens who lie in until 12pm. But not mine. Up bright and breezy at 8am on the weekends, she’s still not a fan of big sleeps. But I’ve learned not let it worry me. 

Fiona, senior copywriter, Pura, mum of one.  

In further celebration of Mother’s Day, The Gilded Bird, Glow Dreaming and Pura have teamed up to give you some great deals on baby essentials from now until 14 March. Use the following codes at checkout 

The Gilded Bird code: NEWBIRD10 for 10% off 

Glow Dreaming code: GLOWSLEEP10 for 10% off 

Pura code: MOTHERSDAY20 for 20% off one time purchases